It's back!

I haven't blogged on here for almost a year, 'cause my main blog is tumblr now.

Well I just dropped by here to read some old thoughts, and I'm happy to say that my friendship with a certain person is back and possibly better than before! :)

Rereading our old wallposts and things, I can see why she didn't want to be my friend back then.

We share the same PE class, so back in October we started talking to each other again, and now we talk and laugh a lot and PE's really fun because of her :)

She might move over the summer or next year though ): I'll miss talking to her at school, and having PE with her. I hope we still keep in touch!

Ahaha. Haha. No.

That's so stupidly ironic it's not even funny.
So, on my Tumblr, I posted my opinion of this fight that was going on between friends. I asked them to maybe sort this out somewhere else.
And then, one does a reply post sorta thing, saying they had freedom of speech. So I respected that and said they could do whatever.
And then. This other person, semi-friend I guess, tells me that I should stop talking, and be glad I'm not in the fight. I get the latter part. But she basically just told me to shut up.
Freedom of speech, hello? Guess my opinion doesn't matter, and I should just stop posting stuff.
But no matter. They can just unfollow me. As my other friend once said, "I'd hate to have your dashboard being clogged up with my bad posts." Or something along the lines of that.

Aw.

Things seem to actually be worse between us now. I'm thinking about making up to her; I might regret it the rest of my life if I don't try.

On a side note: I made a tumblr today. I probably won't update this as much/at all.

You'll find my thoughts there.

Getting better?

I don't know. Things seem better know. Whether it's because she read the note on Facebook or not, she seems to be talking a little more to me now. Or maybe it's just coincidence. Still, it's nice to have her back, even if it isn't all the way.

Her.

I don't even get why we pretend to be friends anymore. It's obvious we're not. I can tell, because she never listens to me when I'm talking, and never attempts to talk to me, or sit with me, or anything. Also, she's told me the people she doesn't like. Unless she lied all that time, or had a real sudden change of heart. But anyway, she seems friendlier to them than she is to me now. Also, she seems so... flirty nowadays. Maybe I shouldn't judge her; maybe I look like that too. But I don't like like the guys I'm really friendly with. They're just friends, albeit good ones. I don't know, she's just been getting on my nerves a lot recently. It's pretty tempting to just drop our friendship altogether, but maybe we have already. Or maybe I don't want to say goodbye to all the good memories we had when we were friends. It seems like a waste to just let it go.

So maybe I haven't been all that friendly to her these past few days, but that's only because she hasn't made any attempt to talk to me, or do/say anything that would reassure me that we're still friends. I've just been ignoring her; I don't think she minds. Perhaps she likes how she herself doesn't have to make an attempt to ignore me. Maybe I should try to rekindle that once strong friendship, but why, and how? She doesn't listen to anything I say; she doesn't seem to want to be near me. Maybe it would be wise to just let it go. I don't know yet, but I hope soon, what I should do will be clear. One thing's for sure, she isn't the person I once knew.

Friends.

I wonder if I actually have friends out there. Sure, I seem to, but who knows if or when a friend turns around a backstabs me? I'm pretty sure at least a few are true friends, but who knows to what extent? I suppose I'm being selfish; I'm lucky to even have people I can call friends. Perhaps I should just enjoy what I can of life, my friends being there alongside me or not.

Too Late

Shoulda, coulda, woulda.

That's the story of my life.

I plan things out, I think about it, think how well it's gonna turn out. Yet, it barely happens, because I never feel like doing it until the last day, and by then I can't do too much.
I never raise my hand or speak out, and after that, I wished I could go back in time and do it.

One day, I'm going to face something that I should have done. I could have done. I would have done. But I don't think I'll be able to. Soon, I'll regret it. I'll wish for things to rewind, but nothing's going to happen.

I should have done it. I could have done it. I would have done it.

But I didn't.
And now it's too late.